I am Cocoa, your resident royal and the undeniable face of everything chic. While you might see a "long-haired black cat," I assure you that you are looking at a masterpiece of fluff and British refinement. I've been told my expression is "pleasant," though that's usually because I've just finished judging your choice of footwear.

Why You're Here: You've wandered onto the homepage of Cocoa the Trendy Pet, likely in a desperate attempt to absorb even a fraction of my natural charisma. Here, we don't just follow trends; I set them, and the rest of the animal kingdom scrambles to keep up.

✦ Sophistication: Naturally.
✦ Sarcasm: Free of charge.
✦ Style: Better than yours, darling.

"I'm not saying I'm the center of the universe, but have you seen how the light hits my coat? It's a compelling argument."

Enjoy your stay, try not to smudge the glass, and do try to keep up. One must maintain standards, after all.